Well since I’ll be out of town for a Christmas gathering I figured I’d get a jump (at exactly 100 words!) on this Friday Fictioneer week! See below…
The woman with the flowing, pitch black hair and determined, yet delicate elven features gasped at the vision in her mind. She saw chains and a stake, a shaping of worlds eternally bound behind shackles of iron fencing. Our world? She wondered silently. Flashes of bright orange–fire?– and sharp objects seized her heart.
The elder council must be warned, for if she was right, they would soon be fighting to avoid that which they fear most. The bitter rusting decay of mortality. The council could not, nay, would not… allow their race to fall, to become as a man.
The Pen is Mightier.. 
Original take on the prompt. Nice work.
Thanks Sandra! Took me a couple tries to get the feel right haha.
I like your story (and have fun at your Christmas gathering, by the way). I think it would more sense (and read better as well) if at the end you said, “become as man.”
Thank you thank you. I will have a blast. Fun and family and warmth. Nothing better is there in life. And i agree with you! I debated on that ending for 15 mins.
a shaping of worlds eternally bound…very prophetic. 🙂
Thank you 🙂 that was the 4th version… You know words, they hate brains sometimes!
boy do I know that…:)
“To become as man” would be an apt title!
Agreed! Maybe that can title up my follow through… Was just telling someone i want to see what the elder council does with the news.
Visions of change threatening the Immortals. Doom foretold by portent and prophecy. Lovely stuff.
(casting my lot in with Janet re your last line.)
Aloha,
Doug
Aloha Doug! Thanks for popping by again sir! I think I’m casting my lot with the both of you as well. I’d love to continue this and see what the elder council does with the news.
Has some poetry to it. Good stuff! Let’s hear some more!
Actually planning on finding out what the council does in reaction to her news
There is a long story in this – interesting theme..
I plan on expanding on it, thanks man. I don’t know how soon but I’ll post the (obviously longer) follow up soon. 🙂
Ooh I love this! I enjoy fantasy fiction!
If you ever write further on this story, do let me know. I would love to read it!
Ha! You’re in luck. Reception to this 100 word snippet is so good I’m already formulating ideas! 😉 Soon. How soon? I don’t know, but soon.
Looking forward to see what follows. In the meantime, have a wonderful, festive holiday gathering.
Thanks Lora, I will! Just got done with The Hobbit. Time for bed and story conjuring!
The council needs to heed the vision. Nice job, Tony.
shalom,
Rochelle
Rochelle, always good to see you here. I’m hoping they will, but you know…elves can be mighty stubborn and stuck in their ways sometimes. May take a little ‘nudge’ to get them moving.
I am normally not a big fan of fantasy fiction but this was poetic. The imagery strong and clear. To my own surprise I really like it. Good work, man.
Tom
Thanks Tom! Glad to know I can draw from outside the base genre audience!
A visionary tale, literally. This is a great set-up for a longer story. Ron
Thanks Ron, I really appreciate the positive feedback… I’m scrambling a followup together
How original
Thanks!
well done. there is danger emerging. here’s one way to save a couple of words.
instead of “the vision in her mind”
consider “cerebral vision” or something like that.
It came out at exactly 100 after much shaving already haha… I don’t think, however, that “cerebral” fits the feel I am going for at this point. Thanks for the feedback sir! Keep it comin 🙂
i was trying to find one word to replace “in his mind.” which would then save two words.
This is true, and saving words is important with guidlines as strict as we hold here!
Great work here. Love the fantasy take on this.
Thank you sir…I plan to try to pull all the fantasy out of reality that I can 😉
I enjoyed this, Tony. You gave us just enough to make us crave more
Thanks Russ! I’m working on giving you more 🙂
I’m wondering who the council is?
The leadership of her people…mostly unseen and very hard to gain an audience. 🙂
Very, very interesting. Keeps me thinking.
Glad I could make the gears spin a little 😉 Thank you!
Very strong. Very visual.
Thanks Ted, that’s what I aim for 🙂 – More to follow! (I hope…)